Fraking resumes! Yeah I watch Battlestar Galactica, so what?

Resume writing is the worst. Trying to fit your life onto an 8 1/2 x 11 in. sheet of paper filled with buzzwords and dry pseudo-sentences with questionable punctuation, devoid of any subject that refers to the Self as a living, emotion-feeling organism makes my head pound and my stomach churn with uncontrollable frustration. Who came up with these and why did we think they were a good idea?

I'm not trying to be clever or cute, I get the logistics of a resume (taken from the French word résumé, meaning "summary"). But the cruelty of dividing your life into events without any sense of fluidity or purpose shouldn't be the principal way to measure a person's worth, which is, sadly, what the resume is for. I suppose in a sick way it's fitting for a capital-materialistic society to objectify it's people, which we succumb to willingly.

Obviously I have recently tasted the bittersweet tears of laborious resume resuscitation, having lost my working copy in a freak-water-spilled-on-the-keyboard accident that left my poor MacBook Pro lost in the electronic universe, not knowing what to do or where to go once powered on. In regular speak, I had to get a new hard drive. This all happened in France and if you know me at all, you know that I was teaching English there during the last academic year. But that's another story...